winnelliott.com

Nashville

Winn — Tue, 04 May 2010 01:51:14 +0000

The Nashville Flood. May 2, 2010. from Michael Deppisch on Vimeo.

Between May 1st and May 2nd, 2010, Middle Tennessee received the greatest amount of rainfall in recorded history. It left us with several casualties, millions of dollars in damage and an indelible mark on our city. This video shows but a small sample of the destruction and mayhem wrought by this disaster. Please pray for those affected. If you feel so inclined, please make a donation at http://www.nashvilleredcross.org.

The Great Semantics Debate

Winn — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 23:41:33 +0000

Okay, I think I’ve talked about this before, but it recently came up in conversation again, so I’m curious….

Picture this scenario:

You’re out of food and you need to get more. You say “I’m going to the _______.”

A) Store
B) Grocery
C) Grocery Store
D) Bar

I vote “B” but others will disagree with me, saying that “the store” is more appropriate. I have a fully developed argument for my position, but am curious as to what you guys think.

Records I’ve enjoyed over the past decade…

Winn — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 20:38:47 +0000

I know, I’m a little late posting this, but I finally think I’ve culled the list of my favorite records of the past decade (2000 – 2009). Enjoy!

All That You Can’t Leave Behind – U2
Rockin’ the Suburbs – Ben Folds
Come Away With Me – Norah Jones
Speakerboxxx / The Love Below – Outkast
Hot Fuss – The Killers
Hopes & Fears – Keane
X&Y – Coldplay
Continuum – John Mayer
In Rainbows – Radiohead
Once (Soundtrack) – The Swell Season
Viva La Vida / Prospekt’s March – Coldplay
Consolers of the Lonely – Raconteurs
No Line On The Horizon – U2

I’m sure there are some that I’ve missed. What are they?

Pet Peeve #28748

Winn — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 17:06:11 +0000

Okay, I’ve got to share another huge pet peeve of mine…… People in the bank drive through lane that aren’t prepared.

Look. It’s a DRIVE THROUGH LANE. It’s supposed to be quick and efficient. So when you drive through, have your deposit slips filled out and checks endorsed so that you can just drop it in the tube and be done. Don’t ask questions, don’t argue. If there’s a problem, or you need a form or something of that nature, GO INSIDE!!!! And for the love of everything good, and pure, and holy. PULL UP to count your cash.

Sorry, just had to vent. The bank run took 30 minutes yesterday.

Please Join Us.

Winn — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 22:09:03 +0000

Haiti really needs our help… It may not be much in comparison to the need, briterevolution.com will be donating 100% of our revenues this month directly to Haiti relief. Please join us.

www.briterevolution.com

Free Hugs

Winn — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:09:41 +0000

I almost forgot how much I love this video, and not just because it features Judah Friedlander from 30 Rock. Check it out, then go hug a stranger.

Linguine with Chicken, Sun-Dried Tomatoes and Gorgonzola

Winn — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 17:41:36 +0000

So, this is something that I’ve been making for a while now, and it’s hands down the biggest crowd pleaser I’ve com across. And now I’m sharing it with you. I don’t have exact amounts for anything… I tried to quantify some of the ingredients once and it didn’t end well. And, you know, the fun is in the figuring-out.

Give it a try. You’ll love it. I promise.
—
oil-pack sun-dried tomatoes (reserve oil!)
boneless skinless chicken breasts cut into strips (1 – 1.5 per serving)
minced garlic
chopped fresh basil
chicken broth
capers
chopped red onion
crumbled Gorgonzola cheese
sliced prosciutto ham
hot red pepper flakes
salt & pepper to taste
linguine

Heat the reserved oil from the sun-dried tomatoes in a large skillet. Add the chicken and some garlic. Sauté until cooked through. Remove to a bowl. Add more garlic to the skillet and sauté for 1 minute.

Add the sun-dried tomatoes, basil, broth, capers, onion, Gorgonzola cheese and prosciutto to the skillet. Bring to a boil. Add the red pepper flakes, salt and pepper. Add the cooked chicken, the hot cooked linguine and toss to mix well.

Notes: I usually try to maintain 2 parts chicken broth to 1 part gorgonzola. Everything else is just kind of by feel. You’ll know when it tastes right.

Random Thoughts…

Winn — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 23:35:08 +0000

Thanks to Brittany for sending me this little nugget of gold this afternoon.

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I
was younger.
Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it
wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw it.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each
hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately
clear your computer history if you die.
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying
to finish a text.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing
else to say".
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom
and hunger.
Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a
Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the
Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual
stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat
you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street
smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary
smart".
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just
nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars
teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart .
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty
sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how
the person died.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories
Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier
every year?
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their
offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has
to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get
so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm
from; this shouldn't be a problem….
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I
don't want to have to restart my collection.
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you
are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash
this ever.
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something
she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some
light internet stalking.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate
drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I
always hate cyclists.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and
still not know what time it is.
It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know
not to answer when they call.
I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a
kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment
will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in
college.
My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what
would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I
respond to that?
I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone
they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the
bag, saw they had incl uded four sets of plastic silverware. In
other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a
second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must
be at least four people eating to require such a large amount
of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like
being made to feel like a fat b@st@rd before dinner.

Flood!

Winn — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 00:36:24 +0000

I have been neglecting my blog. But this time, I have a pretty good reason. On June 13, my office building flooded. Here are some pictures.

So, there's that. All in all, it could have been a lot worse, but it certainly could have been a lot better, too. You can view more pictures (if you're into that sort of thing) on flickr and facebook.

Stay tuned!

The Wardrobe Malfunction

Winn — Wed, 27 May 2009 21:12:27 +0000

So, I've been super busy lately (which is normal) but I promise I'll post more. A few days ago I was hanging out with some friends and they reminded me about my (apparently infamous) wardrobe malfunction from 2006. And so, after a few good laughs, I agreed to re-post it. Here's the backstory… in March of 2006, I went with some of the guys from Lynyrd Skynyrd to celebrate them being inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. This is what happened on the night of the ceremony.

Okay, so before I get into the awesomeness of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony (RARHOFIC)… I need to tell you about the worst — and yet most comical event of the weekend.

I call it "The Wardrobe Malfunction."

Okay. So the attire is "Rock and Roll Black Tie" or whatever the hell that means. To me, it means a tux. So I go and rent one. I get measured, try on a few options and find one that I like. It fits well and I'm pleased. So I pay for it and agree to pick it up on my way to the airport on Saturday.

So I pick it up, get to NY and hang it in the closet of my hotel. Monday, around 4:30 PM, I start getting ready…

TO MY HORROR, the pants are 6" too big in the wasit and 4" too short in the legs. I mean, you can see my bare white legs. This is definitely not Rock and Roll. So I think "okay, I'll just wear them a bit lower." But that doesn't work either because they're effing enormous. And they don't have belt loops, so I can't wear a belt.

I try to use safety pins but there's just too much fabric. NOT GOOD.

Finally, after 30 minutes of trying to find a solution, I did the only thing that I could think of.

I wrapped THREE (3) bath towels around my waist, secured them with a belt and then put on my pants. And let me just be the first to say that if you have never done this, please try it as it will truly change your life.

So I finally get everything situated. The pants are still INCREDIBLY loose, but they're workable, because I've just added roughly 5" of mass to my body. I mean I felt like a stuck pig in the mud.

As I start walking down the hall, I realize that it's not easy to walk with three bath towels strapped to your body.

I arrive to the Waldorf and walk into the cocktail party. I stand in one location for an hour, giving people that "oh yeah hey, I would talk to you but I've got three bath towels wrapped around my waist" look.

So after about an hour of drinking wine and being self conscious, I walk into the room and sit at my table. I think to myself "naah, there won't be anyone really famous at my table. No way."

Well, in walks Sting. And Prince.

Oops.

So of course there is a standing ovation after every nuance of this thing, and every time I get up to clap, I have a horrible fear that my pants won't be coming with me on this journey. That only happened once. Thank God I caught it in time. There is absolutely NO WAY that I could save face from wearing a damn toga under my tuxedo.

Oh, and to top it all off, it was 95 degrees EASY in the room. Yeahhhh…

So there you have it, folks. Never rent from American Tuxedo. They will set you up to fail. And by fail, I mean have your pants drop at a televised function.